Unspoken Bat Rules
by BlackMarionette
Summary: If you're gonna to add spandex to the costume…You gotta have the ass for it.
1. Number 29

Unspoken Bat-Rules

**A/N:** Wrote this last night when somehow my thoughts drifted to: hey, super heroes wear a lot of tight fitting spandex…they must be in perfect shape for them to pull it off…you know, some places require that more than others. And I'm pretty sure Artemis wouldn't complain…yeah. And then I remembered Artemis' "Mmm…that boy." Moment and was like: I GOTTA WRITE THIS.

Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice or Batman's steaming buns. Haha.

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><p><em>Chapter 1: Number 29<em>

After the quick briefing about their new mission which Miss Martian and Aqualad would not be participating in, Kid Flash, Robin and Artemis were left to mingle amongst themselves. As they watched Batman's retreating form. Artemis' gaze last a bit longer than the others'. When she was positive that the Dark Knight had left she turned to the youngest member of Young Justice.

"Alright Robin, spill it!"

"…spill what?" the Boy Wonder asked confused.

"Your guys' training regimes! I want to know how to get an ass," she paused a bit to gesture in the direction Batman had walked off, "like that!"

Robin repeated, "Like…like that…?" slightly flustered and unsure how to respond

"Dude…were you checking out Batman's ass…?" Kid Flash asked.

Artemis sighed, "Honestly, not the point, Kid Tard…c'mon Robin, you've been working with him how long?"

"Four years…" he replied uncertainly. He was still completely and totally unsure as to how he should be reacting to the conversation.

"And your trying to tell me that you never noticed how toned that mans backside is?"

"Uhh…"

"You know, I'm pretty sure Rob doesn't go around from rooftop to rooftop checking out his dads junk." Kid Flash said for his startled best friend. "And, dude, how did you even sneak a peek? He wears a freakin' cape for crying out loud! The only thing we can even see is his front side and—_oh God_—I don't even want to know what you were looking at then!" He exclaimed horrified.

"Firstly: No. I was not checking out what you think I was checking out. And secondly: whenever he turns around his cape's a little _too slow_ to follow; but hey, I'm not complaining." She pulled a smirk on her face that was starting the creep the other to heroes out.

"So, what? You were totally and completely just paying attention to his face and the words coming from his mouth during the briefing?" Kid Flash asked her.

Artemis thought about it for a bit and the replied, "Just a bit. Have you seen that mans abs? _Mmm._"

_Mmm?_ Robin thought, _that's the same "Mmm" she used that one time with Superboy! _

"Okay, guys you can stop now. Seriously _not_ feeling the aster. Ew, just ew."

"C'mon, Boy Wonder. I'm waiting for answers."

Robin wasn't exactly sure what she wanted…"I don't—"

"And _don't_ tell me you don't know," the archer interjected and after a quick head to toe of the young protégé of Batman, she said, "you obviously know _something_ 'cause you aren't looking so bad yourself…"

Flustered now turned into a full on blush. And some stuttering. Lots of stuttering.

Wally, who had enough of Artemis sexually harassing the Boy Wonder with her eyes took a protective stance in front of said Boy Wonder. "_AUGH_. Stop checking out my best friend, you pedobear!"

The accused looked at Kid Flash unimpressed then asked him "Aren't you just a little bit curious? You're the runner here; you of all people should own those steaming buns."

_Wha…_"NO! _Ew_, don't tell me you were looking at my—No, just—scarred for life!"

"So what is it kid?" She turned back to Robin determined to get an answer. "Some unspoken rule of the Batcave? Number 58 is probably something like: If you're gonna to add spandex to the costume…You gotta have the ass for it."

After finally getting his bearing and processing what was going on Robin got an idea. But he had to play along first. "_Pssh_, as if it'd be a stupid rule like that!"

"Really? Well I'm pretty sure _no normal man_ has an ass like that." Artemis accused a little shocked that the boy was forming coherent sentences.

"_Really_. Besides, Unspoken Rule Number 58 is actually: DO NOT (UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES) TOUCH THE BATMOBILE WITHOUT BATMAN'S PERMISSION. THAT MEANS YOU ROBIN. In all caps, too." He explained.

Here, Kid Flash added: "Yeah, and Number 43 is: Wallace West (aka Kid Flash) is not allowed into the Batcave on a sugar high, caffeine rush, or after consuming an energy drink (or combination of all three)!"

"Do I even want to know?"

"He did all three."

"Yup. And it took weeks to clean up the Batcave after that. By myself, too. Uncle Barry would not stop laughing at me!"

"Not surprising. I'd be laughing too."

Seeing his chance Robin decided to pick up the conversation where it had left off. "Haha, yeah, anyway. Since you want to know so badly; what you were looking for was Unspoken Bat-Rule Number 27: 'The spandex doesn't shape you; you shape the spandex.' It's not so much a training regime as it is a motivational statement."

There was a moment of shocked silence.

"I have seriously got to paint that on my wall." Was Artemis' revelation.

A little in awe, KF asked "Dude, Batman said that?"

"He _Unsaid_ It." Robin corrected him

"Right, whatever. We should totally put that up in the training hall!"

Agreeing with the speedster (well isn't that a shocker.) she stared to formulate a plan of action. "Speed down to the nearest warehouse store and get some paint and I'll go grab some brushes."

"On it!" and with that he was gone in a yellow blur.

Artemis turned to the Zeta-Beam teleporter with a: "See ya, Bird Boy." And was gone in a flash (pun most definitely intended).

Robin laughed as his friends set out to accomplish their plan. "Oh man, this is going to be great!"

_.:LATER:._

Batman walked into the training hall to meet with the eager Young Justice for their scheduled training session. His protégé Robin, who was following his at the heels, seemed a bit too happy for his liking. Don't get him wrong, he loved seeing his ward in a good mood (or as the Boy Wonder would put it: and asterous mood). But being the man that he was; the great detective that he was, he couldn't help but be a tad bit suspicious. But seeing as this was his "son" he decided to shrug it off as he walked into the hall…only to find that he probably shouldn't have. Robin, as soon as they walked in decided to put on a poker face as he looked up and saw something horrid scrawled onto the mountain walls:

_#27 The Spandex doesn't shape you; You shape the Spandex!_

_-Batman_

He turned to Robin. Eyes narrowing in suspicion again. His protégé's face gave away nothing…he trained him well…then:

"What? I've been with you this entire time! You can't seriously believe I had something to do with this."

Batman's eyes narrowed further and finally he spoke firmly, "Robin…"

_Crap…_Robin thought, _Bats is going to kill me!_

"Sorry, sorry, I just—"

"Blatantly disregarded Unspoken Bat-Rule Number 1: Do not share the Unspoken Bat-Secrets. And for your information that," he pointed to the painted motto, "is number 29. Not 27."

Let's just say that Unspoken Bat-Rule Number 1 didn't exist until that very day.

THE END

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><p><strong>AN:** So this is a one-shot and complete unless you guys want other wise. I'm totally open to writing some more one-shots for this! So here's the plan: If you guys really liked this and have more ideas please leave them in a review or PM me. Just basically like: The Unspoken Bat-Rule, Who says it, and a scenario if possible.

And just to clarify; this is how the numbering for the Bat-Rules work: there's no certain way it's done! Robin started it a while back and honestly you just say the first number that comes to mind and throw a Bat-Rule after it! So…choose a number, any number and throw me some rules if you feel up to it! Obviously 58, 43, 1 and 29 are taken; so don't use them! But there are plenty of fish in the sea so start fishing!

Thanks for reading! Review please!

*BlackMarionette


	2. Number 61

**A/N: **Hey. Long absence excuse is at the bottom. There's a poll on my profile for which rule you'd like to see next. Every time I update I'll take the one most voted for and work on that. And the poll will change :P so head on over to place your vote! Today our special is some Conner and Robin interaction, then some Conner and Batman interaction and then some Daddy!Bat fluff (hopefully). Please enjoy!

Thanks for all the Faves, Alerts, and Reviews :) you guys...hahaha.

This chapter's wonderful Unspoken Bat-Rule brought to you from the mind of _Pickles12_!

This goes out to that one anonymous person who wanted some father/son stuff :) hope you like it.

PS: Did you see Superboy wish Batman a "Happy Father's Day" then try to do the same to Superman but like gave up halfway through spelling "happy" XD Adorable. Also, Have you seen "Targets"? I was diggin' Aqualad's mad water skills. Fave lines are courtesy of Conner and Martian Man Hunter:

"Your. Shirt. Is. _Fine_...Everyone's. Shirt. Is. _Fine_." & "You can be a 'John' too."

Hahahaha.

**Disclaimer:**I own nothing of Young Justice. If I did, it would've been Robin who gave Kon his name, not M'gann.

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><p><em>Chapter 2: Number 61<br>_  
>The first thing that Superboy could register through all the pain was a strained voice. Not that he could tell the voice was strained, he was, after all experiencing everything muffled due to his pain ridden mind.<p>

"Superboy...hey. Superboy...Conner...Conner, look at me...! It's gonna be okay...you don't have to worry about anything alright? Everything's going to be fine. We'r-_You're _going to be fine okay? The League is on their way...they'll fix everything..."

It took a while for him to focus on what the voice was saying and when he did it took him a little while longer to realize _who _was that was talking. The person sounded concerned.

"...Robin...?"

At the sign of recognition the Boy Wonder let out a sigh in relief. Superboy no longer seemed to be out of it but he could tell the clone was still in pain. He needed to distract him and keeping a conversation was literally the _only thing _he was capable of right now.

"...Yeah? Wh-What is it...?" He asked, voice hitching a little.

"...is it Christmas...?"

Startled by Superboy's reply he was about to deny the claim but stopped to wonder what in the world would make him think it was a _holiday_, "N-...Why do you think it's Christmas, Conner?"

"There's a lot of green and red..." his friend's reply made him laugh at the irony.

"Haha...yeah Conner, it's Christmas..." he decided to lie.

At that Conner suddenly found Robin's face very interesting. He looked like he was trying hard to concentrate on something. After staring at him in silent contemplation Superboy finally said, "...then why are you crying...?"

"...what...?" He asked shocked at the sudden the question.

"Why are you crying if it's Christmas...?" Superboy elaborated.

Rather shocked that he hadn't noticed he was shedding tears himself and trying not to let Conner in on his real emotions of fear and hopelessness Robin tried to think of an explanation. "Haha...because...because I'm _happy_...! I got what I wanted this year!" He told Conner trying to keep up with the Christmas lie.

"You did?"

"Yeah! How about you?"

Conner thought seriously about the question and still made no sign of realizing it was still in the middle of May. Finally he said, "...I haven't opened my gifts yet..."

"...Hah...well...we still...have plenty...of time...!" Robin was staring to have trouble breathing and his vision was getting blurry. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on steadying his breath and clearing the vertigo. Ignoring the pain and coldness he stared feeling in his abdomen Robin opened his eyes and blinked a few times, vision slowly becoming normal but his breath was starting to come in silent gasps. He didn't need to worry Conner.

"...Robin?" Conner looked concerned again.

"...what?..."

"You sound...tired..." was the clone's observation.

"Well, of course...I do...! ...I stayed...up...all night...waiting for...Santa!" Robin said quickly trying to deter Superboy's concern for him.

"...all night?" He asked suspiciously. _Why would he be suspicious?_

"Yeah...all...night..." Robin confirmed.

"But you stay up all night all the time..." _Oh. That's why._

Trying to come up with another excuse for his quickly waning strength he started just BSing whatever he could, which was really hard because he was having trouble getting air in his lungs and he couldn't think clearly. "Well, we had...a party...at my house...earlier...and...and...there were...so many...gifts...and Alfred made...his...yummy...cookies...we...sat by...the fire...and...Bruce was there...opening the present...I got...him...and smiling...you guys...probably...don't believe...he can..." Robin trailed off. Speaking was becoming ridiculously hard.

"'He can' what?" Superboy ask when Robin didn't finish his sentence.

"...smile..." the Boy Wonder (who wasn't feeling all that wonderful) supplied. His eye lids where getting heavy. _Really heavy_.

"Robin?"

"Yeah...?"

Conner gave him a pointed look and said, "If you're that tired...you should take a nap...so you won't be tired for the Christmas party with the Justice League."

_Yeah...the Christmas party..._

"...Yeah, a nap sounds good...I...really...shouldn't...but..._I'msotired_..." Robin was starting to drift out of consciousness.

"Robin...?" Superboy called softly.

"Hmm...?" He was getting too tired for words, he wasn't really sure where he was right now.

"Who's Bruce...?" Was the question.

"...he's...my...dad..." too tired to remember anything about not giving any information about his secret ID Robin gave his answer just plain and simple. He was starting to feel numb.

"Your dad?"

"...yeah...if he...comes...before I...wake up...tell him...I...love...him...okay...?"

"...But I don't know...Robin...? Robin?" That was the last thing Robin heard before succumbing to darkness.

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><p>It had been exactly 1 day, 6 hours, 48 minutes and 12 seconds since Conner was fully free of the kyptonite's toxic influence. That was also the exact amount of time since he heard what had really happened. And it had been 1 day, 6 hours, 48 minutes and 22 seconds since Conner started to blame himself for not realizing that something was wrong with their little bird. He was told that it wasn't his fault. A first time encounter with kryptonite could be very disorienting. They were just trying to comfort him, he knew but...Robin was able to keep his calm demeanor and he was the one this the <em>kryptonite blade<em> stuck halfway in his _stomach_ (courtesy of Lex Luthor). His life was slowly pooling around the both of them on the floor and not only did he keep his cool but he was attempting to comfort Superboy when clearly _he_was the one who needed comfort.

That just made Conner's resolve stronger. Robin asked him to deliver a message, he could remember that much. But he wasn't so sure on how to go about doing it...that was until he saw Batman seated by the Boy Wonder's bed in the Mountain's infirmary on his way to visit the boy. Batman didn't look up when he entered.

"Batman?" Conner tried.

"What is it, Conner?" Batman asked with a tired tone still not looking away from the face of his ward.

"Do you know who 'Bruce' is?" That caught the Dark Knight's attention and his head snapped up to examine the clone.

"...Where did you hear that name...?" He asked quietly, a bit of suspicion seeping through.

Seeing that as a confirmation of the Dark Knight knowing the name he started to explain. "Robin said it was his dad's name and told me to tell him something but I don't know what he looks like so I don't know how to find him and give him the message..."

His words lead to a moment of contemplative silence and then finally Batman said, "...I'll give him the message...what did Robin say...?"

"He said that if his dad didn't come before he woke up to tell him..." Conner trailed off feeling a bit awkward having to say it but...no. He needed to. Robin asked him to do it. And the boy had taken a stab from a kryptonite blade for him, he couldn't back out now.

"Tell him _what_, Conner?" Batman asked getting impatient but trying to hide it from the clone.

"He said 'I love you.'" Conner stated bluntly.

Batman was silent. Shocked even. Conner couldn't really tell. Then something clicked in his mind and the reaction made sense. Robin's _words_made sense.

"Batman...? Are you okay...?" He asked.

"_Fine_. I'm fine. But I think it'd be best to let Robin deliver that message himself when he wakes up..." Conner was confused at the statement. The doctor had told them that Robin was really close to being _comatose_. In fact, he said it would most definitely happen and as far as he knew being comatose meant being in a _coma _and being in a coma meant being in a state of deep unconsciousness that lasts for a prolonged or indefinite period...the chances of Robin waking up were slim...

"But the doctor said-"

"_WHEN_ he wakes up, I'll bring his dad here..._understood_?" Batman interrupted him not willing to accept the fact that his ward..._his son_...might never open his eyes.

Conner tried to keep Batman's gaze but found it too intense so he decided to examine the floor. A minute later he whispered, "...but you're already here..." as if trying to understand the man before him.

Batman was caught off guard with what he heard. Instead of being mad or threatening the clone for figuring out who he was he couldn't think of anything to say and lamely said, _"...don't you have training to do...?_"

Getting the message Conner said, "...yeah...I'll leave you two alone then..." and left down the hallway to his room. They never have training on the weekends.

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><p>"...Bruce...?" Having drifted off Bruce was woken up by someone tiredly calling his name. And after realization hit as to who that someone was he bolted up right in a very non Batman way and at a speed that would make any of the Flashes jealous. Good thing it was just him and Dick. Speaking of his ward...he still seemed a bit disoriented.<p>

"Bruce...where...?"

"Gotham Central Hospital. _Sigh_. Don't _ever_ scare me like that again...!" Bruce said sternly hugging his ward tightly as if afraid he'd slip away again. Releasing Dick from the hug the boy had a playful look on his face and said, "...am I going to have to listen to a lecture? _Really? _Hahaha."

Laughing as well, Bruce ruffled his son's hair. "Fine. No lecture. And I guess I'll have to let it pass that Unspoken Bat-Rule Number 61 has been broken..._again_..."

"Hey! I thought you guys wouldn't get there on time! And I didn't tell him _my_name so we're square." Dick said smugly.

"No, but you did let _mine _slip..." Bruce trailed off giving Dick his best Fake Bat-Glare.

Laughing at Bruce's expression Dick said, "Well I think it would've been awkward for Conner to tell _THE _Batman 'I love you'."

"Well, he didn't seem to have a problem with it a few weeks ago when you were first admitted."

Confusion stopped Dick's joking. "Whoa. _Weeks_?"

"You...slipped into a coma..." Bruce revealed with a slightly pained voice.

"Oh...wow...wait, what's today...?"

"June 19th."

"Oh..." Was all Dick could think of saying. The two lapsed into a comfortable but not-so-comfortable silence. Dick decided to have a go at lightening the mood.

"Bruce?...umm..._Dad_?"

"Hn?"

"Happy Father's day! This time it really did hit me by surprise so, no gift, sorry. Hahaha."

His words caused Bruce to smile. Bingo.

"You're fine and you're awake. That's the best gift I could ask for." Bruce said hugging him tightly again.

Dick smiled into his father's chest.

"'Love you."

Bruce smiled against the top of his son's head.

"'Love you too."

THE END

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><p><strong>AN:**The best part about this new YJ Batman? He freakin' cares! Hahaha, I shall bend his emotions to my will!

Talk about a total 180 from the tone of the first chapter, right? Anyway...oh geez guys. Where have I BEEN? Let me answer that for you! So this...well, not THIS this but the second chapter was supposed to be out a week after I posted the first one. So that would've landed that update on the 7th of June. But my dear readers, once upon a time 18 years ago on that very day, my best friend decided: "Hey. I want to be born today!" Soooo, a phone call (he facebook'd me), a gift purchase and a car drive later I found myself at Disneyland to celebrate...yeah, hahaha.

I was planning on posting it when I got home but I got home at 2 in the morning XD and I'm pretty sure I slept until...sometime in the evening...and things happened...this lead to that and oh my, I haven't been on the computer in weeks...as I'm typing this I'm not on the computer...I'm on my Droid XD oh I love this note app! My old phone's notes only held 1,000 characters...this one's endless! A writer's dream! Hahaha yeah, so I have about 3 chapters started on my phone...yup. expect those to come in a more orderly fashion...hopefully...

So, this wasn't originally what I had planned for this chapter. I was working on the Unspoken Bat-Rule 17 'Batman knows all' but I woke up yesterday and had the first scene of this chapter was playing in my head...so, I typed it (the time stamp on the note says "06/18/2011, 6:49am" I had no clue that was the time I typed it until I woke up later and looked) XD and since Father's day is like...well...here, I added some (hopefully) Daddy!Bats fluff :) I hope you enjoyed it!

Please review! And remember: If you have ideas for a Bat-Rule put it in a review or PM. Explanation on how to make one is in the A/N at the bottom of the first chapter.

Thanks for reading! :)

*BlackMarionette

PPS: I went on the new Star Tours...oh my gosh. AMAZING. If you get the chance go! That is all.

...we ran over a Wookiee...haha.


	3. Number 17

**A/N:** Try as I might I shall never understand the Batman/Superman pairing...yeah...random thought. So, please vote for which Bat-Rule you want to see next on my profile. Remember, it changes with every chapter :)

38 reivews XD wow. I missed my goal of 40 by 2. Darn! Even so, you guys are amazing! 38 is still a lot by my standards. Thanks to all those who Faved, Reviewed, and Alerted. So, here's chapter 3. Enjoy!

This Bat-Rule is brought to you by _titansfan1211_ :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Young Justice.

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><p><em>Chapter 3: Number 17<em>

Somewhere amidst the dark streets of Gotham at a place known as the Wayne Manor in a room that belonged to a certain crime fighting teenager...a speedster was being persistent...

"Dude, Batman will _never _find out! Trust me, I'm a speedster."

To the many citizens of Gotham the Wayne Manor was simply that: a manor. But to those that belonged to the hero community it held a dark secret. But it wasn't evil, oh no. It was just literally dark…dark and hidden. Which was why at this very moment a certain red-head was trying to get a glimpse of that dark secret.

"I don't know KF..."

Seeing his friend's reluctance said speedster tried to convince him by making his friend doubt himself instead of doubting him. "Why in the world could you possible want to doubt me, your ridiculously attractive best friend who knows all?"

Okay...no response...so that didn't work maybe if he—oh, _no way_—Wally face-palmed as he realized what was up with his friend

"Don't tell me. There's an Unspoken Bat-Rule for this too?" he whined.

"Number 17." Dick stated as-a-matter-of-factly, "So trust me, _he'll know_."

"No single person could know all. Except for me. What makes you think he'll find out about this?"

"Look KF, I don't know. All I know is that no Bat-Rule has ever been made under false pretenses..."

"You're getting a little carried away with this don't you think?" Wally stated more than asked.

Dick eyed his best friend with a looked that asked him to just drop the subject. Wally ignored it.

"C'mon Rob, ppllleeeeAaassssee!"

"No."

"We'll put everything back the way it was!" he offered.

"No!"

"Bruce said that he'd be at a dinner party all night! We have the perfect chance!"

"Well you must have selective hearing 'cause I'm pretty sure that right after he said that he also said-"

.

.

_"-don't touch anything while I'm gone. If I find a single thing out of place or with your finger prints on it you'll both be in serious trouble. I've asked Superman to patrol Gotham for me so there should be absolutely no reason why you two should be anywhere near the Batcave-"_

.

.

"Exactly!" Wally interrupted Dick remembering the conversation quite clearly, "He said _'near'_ the Batcave. He never said anything about _'inside' _it."

Dick stared incredulously at his best friend then said, "That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Loophole!" Wally fist-pumped.

"That's not a friggin' loophole!" Dick shouted throwing his hands in the air.

"Yes it is. And I would know, I took government!" Wally stated proudly.

"No, no it's not." He said getting frustrated, Wally just wouldn't let it die! "And a high school class does not certify you to question Batman! Besides, he also said-"

.  
>.<p>

_"-or in it. I don't care if he's you best friend; no one is allowed into the cave without special permission from me. No going inside. No just opening the entrance in the study to look at the elevator that leads to it. And no buts. You two are lucky this sleep over is even occurring while I'm on business-"_

_Bruce was cut off by Wally's exclamation of: "Dude, your leaving us here to go to a party!"_

_Wally was quickly silenced by a Bat-glare and Dick moved to intervene before that Bat-glare escalated to heat-vision…somehow…_

_"uh...right, well, don't worry Bruce! We won't go anywhere near it. Even if we try Alfred will be there to stop us so it's no big. Just go and enjoy the night! We can behave for a couple hours!"_

_Bruce stared at his son with no expression for a beat before he sighed and threw on his coat._

_"...don't blow anything up..."_

_Dick sighed. "I told you! That toaster was out to get me!"_

_Wally looked at his best friend with a confused expression and asked "Dude, you have toast issues too?"_

_"Too?" Dick asked now the one confused._

_"Yeah, Supey killed the fridge 'cause he couldn't make toast..." Wally explained._

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"Ugh, yeah, shutting up."__  
><em>.

.

"Come _on, _Rob!" The speedster continued to bombard his friend with his pleading.

"No." And yet again, Richard was not moved.

"_Dicky!_" Wally whined.

"No." Dick answered, "And _please _don't ever call me that again..."

"Ugh, you have a will of steel..." Wally admitted sounding defeated.

"Rivaled by only Batman, dude."

"Who totally will not know if we go in there and-"

Wally was cut off by the Wayne butler's knock on the door followed by his announcement, "Master Richard, Mister Wallace. Dinner is ready."

As soon as Alfred made his way down the hallway once again Wally turned to Dick with a look of determination on his face. His crossed his arms for a more dramatic effect. He was going to prove his friend that not even the mention of Alfred's delicious home-made meals could move him from winning the argument. He was mountain and Dick was just the tiny little hiker making his way up his side. No matter what the thirteen year old did he would not be able to—

A gurgling sound interrupted his thoughts. The two occupants of Dick's room looked down to Wally's stomach. Dick raised an eye brow as if daring him to tell him that he wasn't hungry. Wally groaned in defeat.

"Another time my star crossed lover..." he whispered to the ceiling as they headed down stairs.

"Dude, stop being so dramatic." Dick laughed as they entered the dining room.

* * *

><p>"<em>Richard John Grayson!<em>" Bruce's voice came booming from the staircase making the two friends jump.

"Ohhh no…!" Dick freaked, "He found out! What we were _thinking _thinking about going into the cave!"

"What? Now he's a mind reader?" Wally whispered in fear at the sound of approaching steps. It was late and they were playing video games when the voice interrupted them and at the tone of it they shut everything off and ran for cover under sleeping bags.

There was a knock at the door.

"Richard." Came Bruce's eerily calm voice.

"Uh...Hey Bruce...how was your night?" His ward asked trying to make casual conversation.

"Fine. But why don't you tell me a little about yours." He narrowed his eyes, bits of Bat-glare seeping through.

"Uhhmmm..." Was all Dick could say and soon all three of them found themselves in a staring contest.

Silence.

"It was me!" Wally broke deciding to confess and take the blame, "Look, you were right. I am a bad influence! I didn't think it would hurt anybody! Don't kill us!"

More silence.

"Richard. You're grounded. Wallace. You leave tomorrow morning."

Bruce walked away leaving the two to go to his study.

As soon as the billionaire was gone Wally flopped onto Dick's bed. "Ugh! Weekend of fun ruined!"

"I _told _you!" Dick said.

"Aw man...I was really- wait."

"_Sigh. _What now?"

Wally looked at his friend with a serious face, "So did you notice he never really said what we were in trouble for?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Well duh, that's 'cause he knows we know that he knows!"

"...point taken..."

* * *

><p>The next day Wally was fully packed and after a nice breakfast courtesy of Alfred he sped back to Central City to the surprise of his Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris. Though once they got the full story it really wasn't much of a surprise.<p>

After a month of "grounditude" as Robin called it he was finally able to hang out with his best friend and enjoy life again. This time Dick went over to Wally's house instead.

"Dude! Your back!" Wally shouted when he opened the front door and promptly glomped his best friend to the floor of the porch, "I'm so sorry for getting you in trouble! I hope you can forgive me and we can be the bestest friends ever!"

"Dude, get off!" Dick shoved at the speedster's face, "And you weren't even the stupid reason I got in trouble."

"I- what?" Wally asked as he helped his friend up.

"You weren't the reason I got in trouble." Dick dusted himself off.

"But...I was the one who convinced you to-"

Dick interrupted him. "You didn't convince me to do anything remember? We ate dinner and that was that."

"But Bruce's threats!"

"Yeah. He figured we wouldn't listen so he kind of expected us to disobey. But he was impressed that we didn't." Dick explained picking his bag back up.

"Then why...?"

"Let's just say the most colorful Bruce will let me language get is me coming up with words like 'asterous'." The two greeted Barry and Iris as they made their way to Wally's room. Wally was still trying to figure out why his friend really _did _get in trouble if it wasn't his fault.

"I don't...understand..." he finally said.

"There was a word that came out of my mouth the other day that he didn't approve of..." his friend trailed off.

"Uh...are you going to elaborate, my word wizard friend?" Wally asked getting no real explanation.

"I said a word he didn't like." Dick repeated.

"What word?"

Dick looked around suspiciously which made Wally raise an eye brow. He watched as Dick started to rummage around in his bag and produce a small notepad and pencil. The Boy Wonder looked around once more before jotting something down and shoving it in the red-head's face. He looked at his friend's handwriting.

It read: _Friggin'_

"Dude-" Wally looked at his friend.

Dick sighed.

"That's not even a 'bad word' by _little kid _standards. What the heck!"

"Yeah, well according to Bruce it's meant to replace a 'bad word' so it's just as bad as saying the real thing." The ebony haired boy explained.

Trying to make sense of what was just said Wally ran through the events in his head, "We were in your room trying to plot our invasion of the Batcave the entire time. He was at some fancy-shmancy party halfway across the city, when did he hear you say it?"

"I don't know!" Dick shouted.

"Then how did he know?" Wally asked.

"He's the goddamn Batman!" Dick said which was pretty much the explanation going around Arkam so he figured it worked well in this case too. Wally was about to say something but was cut off by Dick's phone.

" ...oh, hold on a sec..." he put the phone to his ear, "yeah?...sigh...okay, bye...well that's just _great_..."

"What?"

"I need to go back home..." Dick mumbled.

"Why? You just got here!"

Dick picked up his bag from the floor, "I'm re-grounded..."

Wally ran the ten minutes that he and his best friend had spent together so far in his head trying to figure out what went wrong, then "Just because you said…? UGH. Seriously? That _just_ happened. Right now. We're not even in Gotham...he's miles away!"

Dick shrugged at his best friend's comment. as they headed to the door. "Trust me, you can't get away with anything because Batman knows. He always knows…"

THE END

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><p><strong>AN:** This whole chapter seems awkward to me...my best friend says I'm just being weird...haha, whatever :) please remember to vote for which Bat-Rule you want next. That poll can be found on my profile, it changes every chapter, yada yada. btw, that whole toaster thing...I've read it mentioned a couple times and it's been around DeviantArt...so yeah, I just threw it in...

Also, Bat-Rule suggestions welcome, just PM me or leave a review. the How-To is in the A/N at the end of chapter 1.

Thanks for reading :) please review!

*BlackMarionette

Next Chapter (as per votes)

_Number 7_: Do not wear Superman PJs infront of Batman. He will not be amused.


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